Diary of a Creative Writing PhD Student: On Keeping Secrets
As
an adult, I have used silence as both a shield and a sword.
Growing up, many people learn that what happens at home stays there. At some point we learned that discussions about family problems were not to leave the family table.
Domestic violence, financial problems, mental health illness and a myriad of other issues were solved (or not) at home. Sharing information with “the streets” was viewed as wrong—perhaps even more wrong than whatever the problem was.
The idea of what happens at home stays at home extended to the community so that what happened in the community did not go beyond that. As a community we needed to appear strong, united.
Where did we learn this?
As part of my research as a PhD student I’m exploring the premise that the Black community has become well versed at keeping secrets and hiding pain; sometimes to our own detriment. I don’t know that this is a Black/ African American phenomenon, a gender experience or if silence is something that affects households and …
Growing up, many people learn that what happens at home stays there. At some point we learned that discussions about family problems were not to leave the family table.
Domestic violence, financial problems, mental health illness and a myriad of other issues were solved (or not) at home. Sharing information with “the streets” was viewed as wrong—perhaps even more wrong than whatever the problem was.
The idea of what happens at home stays at home extended to the community so that what happened in the community did not go beyond that. As a community we needed to appear strong, united.
Where did we learn this?
As part of my research as a PhD student I’m exploring the premise that the Black community has become well versed at keeping secrets and hiding pain; sometimes to our own detriment. I don’t know that this is a Black/ African American phenomenon, a gender experience or if silence is something that affects households and …