In less than one month I will be 42.
Getting older doesn’t feel like I thought it would. As a teen I couldn’t wait to turn 21. It seemed everything worth doing started at 21; so I started earlier. My 20’s and 30’s didn’t swirl down the drain or flash by in a blur of color, lights and names. I had some fun times back then and I have some awesome people in my life to show it. But even if I could go back in time, I wouldn't: I couldn't keep up with the younger me. I don't want to.
The women in my life age gracefully. I expected to and I haven’t been disappointed.
Unlike what TV, magazines, radio and other outlets would have me believe: getting older is amazing. I wouldn’t exchange this point in my life for any other; I don’t need an elixir, a pill, a cream: I love getting older and all it means to me.
So what does getting older mean to me?
There are things in my past that will stay there.
There are events or people in my past that will remain in my future only as lessons learned: and that’s okay.
I will not take people for granted: I will cherish my family and friends.
I will not hesitate as long to say goodbye: if something isn’t working despite trying to “make it” I will recognize it may not be the right something or someone for me and I will let it go.
I will be more open, more loving and more forgiving: while this may seem to contradict with the previous point, it doesn’t; I can forgive you without being with you.
I’m more likely to choose how I spend my time and less likely to waste it where it is not bearing fruit: I am more likely to waste less time or words where they will not yield results.
I will have conversations I want to have and will continue minimizing those I don’t want to have.
I am more willing to ask for help: struggling alone is no longer a tool I use to measure my strength or character.
I can’t fix someone if they don’t realize they’re broken: I can’t fix someone else—I can only work on myself.
I’m not my ex-husband’s PR person: it’s not my job to make him look good to my children. If he wants to look good to them he needs to do right by them.
No excuses: I don’t make excuses for myself and I won’t make them for other people.
No more apologizing for things that are outside of my control; I realize that there are things outside of my control.
I will listen.
I will laugh.
I will take time for myself.
I will endeavor to love and appreciate myself more each day; that means valuing my body, my space, my time.
I’m fortunate to be able to choose how I grow older and how I feel about growing older.