Wednesday, March 18, 2015

Til Text Do Us Part (Repost from Open Salon)

As of today, I have been divorced for four months, two weeks and three days. And yet, according to Sprint, my cell phone is quite married.
I’m 37 and dating.
There are things I know better than to do—which does not keep me from doing them but which explains (sort of) why I took such offense to my phone’s marital status.
Yesterday, in preparation for activating my new phone, I emailed myself pictures from my old phone.  These pictures included snapshots of my children, of places I visited in Chicago, perhaps a picture of a friend or two.
Before deleting the pictures from my old phone, I checked one of my email accounts only to find an email from my ex-husband.  My ex-husband is technologically challenged and does not have my email address.
I felt suddenly trapped or worse--married. 
And, according to the Sprint representative I chatted with, I was.  After years of a separation perpetually threatening to yield reconciliation, I had been thrust back into a relationship it took me longer to get out of than it did to get in to it.
The representative explained that once a PCS email account is set up, the email remains the same til death do us part.  I thought of all the possibilities: exineffect@sprint.pcs.comgotcha@sprint.pcs.com; ortrydatingnow@sprint.pcs.com.
Perhaps I was more upset than I should have been. I had forgiven my husband’s affair, why couldn’t I forgive Sprint’s infidelity? Their choosing him over me in a belated custody battle was perhaps justified since years ago he had opened the joint cell phone account.  Except that two years ago I annexed my phone from his account and put it in my name.
Only now that I’m actively dating—which is different from actively considering the possibility of dating exclusively—does it matter what email address is assigned to my phone.   Not that I’m planning on exchanging Ebayable pictures of myself in lingerie for all to see at the next PTA meeting, but if I do decide to do something I know better than to do, it will be pretty hard to explain why my ex is emailing pictures of me through my cell phone. 
Well, not hard to explain but difficult to explain it believably. 
 I threatened to terminate my Sprint account. I often respond oddly to stimulus.  I forgave my ex his affair, but could not forgive his refusal to cook.
 I support every man’s right not to cook—but if you are going to stop cooking, you need to stop eating.
After a brief telephone conversation with a live representative, the reconciliation was annulled.  I have been granted custody of my life, my phone and my freedom to talk, text and send pictures indiscriminately—sort of.  

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