Sunday, September 25, 2011

The First Thing to Go


The heart is the first thing to go. How can it not? Brimming with loss and memory, fear and hurt, pain and wanting? It bursts or collapses. It breaks.Vessels, blood, and veins flowing loss, congealing memory, binding fear, constricting hurt, pulsating pain, contorting want.

My heart is full. It is a place for the living, for loves--current and remembered. Its memory is short, its bruises heal. My heart will beat and beat and beat.

The brain is the first thing to go. How can it not? Burdened with scorn, defeat, denial, betrayal, reality. It erases or stops. It errodes. Tissues, cells, nerves twisting scorn, wringing defeat, spasming denial, replicating betrayal, losing reality.

My brain is self serving. It remembers hurts in fragments, processing and relagating to memory but not remembering for long. It will survive--it survives.

The stomach then is the first thing to go. How can it not? Bubbling with lies, truths, scorn, waste. It explodes or implodes. It erupts. Acids, fibers, muscle digesting lies, breaking down truths, mixing scorn, expelling waste.

My stomach is strong. It is fortified and coated with confidence, life goes down better that way.

I am the first thing to go. How can I not? 

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